Never let it be said that I can't give credit where credit is due.  Brian Burke has giant, brass monkey-esque gonads.  On some level, I have to admire that.  And I have to admit that yes, upon hearing the news yesterday, there was a small pang of envy, not to mention a little trepidation.  Then I passed a little gas and it went away.  A nine game win streak makes for an excellent colonic.

So as the post masturbatory afterglow settles on the Nation, similar to that which followed the Beauchemin/Exelby/Komisarek/Monster signings if memory serves (so how's that working out?), let's do a little bubble bursting just because it's fun.

What, if anything, does the Phaneuf trade mean to the rest of the Northeast, and more important, to the Ottawa Senators?

The quick answer is absolutely nothing, in the short term.  In the long run?  It's fucking magnificent!  After all, brass balled monkeys are known for neither their intelligence, nor longevity.  Inanimate, anthropomorphic door stops are funny that way.

So, the accepted wisdom is this deal (and to a lesser extent, the Jiggy trade) was "for the future".  Fair enough.  All teams eventually have to rebuild, even us.  So where's the rebuild?  There are no draft picks.  There are no prospects (sorry guys, a 4th rounder doesn't count).

In a nutshell, Brian Burke traded away 25% of his offence, two players entering the prime of their careers, and some spare parts for a defenceman on a Wade Redden-like trajectory who may or may not be a dressing room cancer, and a very-much-former Conn Smythe winning goalie a non-playoff team no longer wanted.  And for this, you're spooging all over yourselves?  Please.

For more years than I've been alive (and that's saying something), the Leafs have been criticized and mocked for their "we don't rebuild, we reload" mentality when it comes to player acquisition and development.  Granted, much of that has to do with market expectations.  To mix metaphors, keep giving them bread and circuses and they won't ask what the man behind the curtain is really doing.  And what he is really doing is trying desperately to save his own ass.  And Brian Burke is no different.

The Leafs will miss the playoffs this year and give away at best, a top 10 and at worst a lottery pick to Boston (thanks for that Burkie...asshat), all because nobody, not even Burke, has the balls to do what truly needs to be done if your precious Preciouses are ever to become legitimate contenders.

So in the end, to the other teams in the division, this is really just more of the same.  Sure, the Leafs will be a bigger pain in the ass to play against for the next two years or so, but go up 2-0 and it's over.  Thanks for coming out.  On the upside, we get to watch Nazem Kadri implode while two of the biggest primadonnas in the league try to live under the bullwhip of one of the biggest jerks to ever hold the title of head coach in the history of the game.  The usual chaos, anarchy and finger pointing will ensue, ensuring that sooner or later, Brian Burke will be fired by the faceless, monolithic entity that is MLSE to be replaced by the latest flavour of the month, and that will be that.  Should be fun!

So, yeah...in a word, "Meh".  We'll say "Thank you very much", take the two points and move on.  And for Christ's sake, here are some paper towels.  Clean up after yourselves, won't you?

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