I have no idea who is responsible for this bit of PhotoShop-ey brilliance, but whoever you are, you're doing the Lords work.

You may have noticed that I don't generally do Game Day posts, and there are three very good reasons for that.  Firstly, Nichols does them WAY better than I ever could.  Two: Her Majesty takes a rather dim view of public servants, upon whom She has so generously bestowed computing devices, availing themselves of those devices in order to entertain Her groundlings with very much non-work related Internet scribblings (in other words: you do not fuck with Her Majesty's IT Police).  And lastly, I'm just too damn lazy.

Lucky for me, two happy coincidences have conspired to change that, at least for tonight.  One: Thanks to Sir Sanford Fleming, game time is still two hours away.  Two, and much more importantly: The post was written for me.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Couch Tarts, your delightful (and strangely alluring) font of all things San Jose Sharks, who were kind enough to provide some insight into what Silicon Valley thinks of our boys, Dany Doucheldorf and why Cheech will eventually drive us all to mass puppy slaughter.  But don't worry.  It's the aliens fault.

Jump for it, yo.

What to expect from tonight's game, courtesy of gmail...

Well, to be honest, I don't pay much attention to the East during the regular season. Oh, I follow a few teams, keep an eye on the general news coming from the Eastern Conference, but I don't really follow any team in depth. I don't follow the Sens with any regularity. It's nothing personal, they just play too early in my day and I don't have Center Ice. (I rooted for you all against the Ducks. You broke my heart. Just saying.)

Hey, don't blame that on us.  Science has proven that that Cup loss was solely due to Chris Pronger's Atomic Elbows of Death and the lichen like IQ of your average NHL official.  And science never lies.  Just saying.

I do know that you all Milan and Cheech though. I hear we trade some high profile player for them. Wonder who that was? I guess it's not that important.

Here's a hint.  He's the guy who will disappear about the middle of April, only to resurface three days before the draft demanding a trade because Joe Thornton did a crappy job fluffing his pillow and somebody put the wrong pacifier in his equipment bag.  Bank it.

Anyway, I'll just make my standard opening day Cheechoo prediction and say that his skate will go through the boards, causing a 15 minute delay. Once freed, he will be abducted by aliens, all of whom look like Milan Michalek. What happens from here is anyone's guess. I'm hoping it will involve a hockey game.

HAR!!  You kidders, you.  Like Cheech could ever skate fast enough to put a hole in the boards!  Although your alien policy would explain quite a bit...

And from Mina:

Last time the Senators played in San Jose, I was in the 6th row of the lower bowl with the guy I was dating at the time, who is a huge Senators fan.  The seats were the closest I've sat in a regular season game and I had an awesome time.  Cheechoo and Patty Marleau lead a comeback that saw Patty scoring the game winning goal during overtime.

Why do I bring this up? Because this is totally the game I expect to see tonight.  The Sharks have made a nasty habit of giving their opponents a bit of a head start in their games.  Sometimes they are able to come back (see: Vancouver) and sometimes this leads to an epic train wreck (see: Chicago).

I don't really think that this game is going to mean much in the long run of the season.  I always love to see how the Sharks stack up against the Amazing Eastern Conference (c).  But both teams have a very long way to go before they can even think about parade routes.  As is stands, this is a game with some interesting story lines between two teams that completed a huge trade over the summer.  I know for sure this would be a totally different atmosphere were the game in Ottawa.  There will be some happy reunions and some tense moments. In the end, several dozen talented young (and not so young (we see you Rob Blake)) will play a game that they are exceptionally good at and the sun will rise and set and the world will continue as it has.

Um...Mina?  If by "tense moments" you mean "By all that is holy, I want to see Matt Carkner rip Heater in half with his teeth", then yes.  I TOTALLY get where you're coming from.

See?  This is why we can't have nice things.

P.S.: Because I am a horrible, horrible person, I couldn't get a reciprocal preview to Couch Tarts in time for their own game day thread.  But I have sent them something they may, or may not, include in their post game wrap.  Do yourself a favour and check in on them anyway, won't you?  They're worth the read.  Seriously.

Comments (2)

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

smaller | bigger

Subscribe via email (registered users only)

Add Comment