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I Am A Barbarian, And I Approve This Message E-mail
Written by SLC   
Tuesday, 22 September 2009 20:01

The Russians tell us that revenge is a dish best served cold.  Of course, the Russians also tell us (okay, technically it was a couple of whack job Germans, but still...) that paradise on earth awaits if we just hand over the means of production to the gibbering masses who have no idea how to use them.  Seeing as that didn't work out so well for them, take it for what it's worth.  In other words, it is complete and utter bullshit.

Give me my revenge hot, thank you very much.  I want heaping, steaming plates of it!  Mounds and mounds of it so that I may revel in its moundy steamy glory!  I want to roll in it!  Hold it to my bosom and make sweet sweet love to it!  I want to hold it high in gore streaked oven mitts and look upon the face of my conquered enemy and there see horrified understanding dawn across his panicked brow in the moment before I plunge my implacable sword of vengeance into his black heart to leave him eviscerated on the floor!* And if he pees himself a little bit, that's okay too.

Which brings me to last night's game against Tampa and a certain ass clown of no repute, Steve Downie.  You remember Stevie, right?

Dean McAmmond might be long gone, but Downie’s cheap shot from two years ago (earning him a 20-game suspension) wasn’t forgotten last night. Chris Neil nailed Downie, a Tampa Bay Lightning winger, with 6:04 left in the third period of a 3-1 pre-season win.

“I didn’t get him as good as I would like to have,” said Neil. “He drops his gloves with me and then he says, ‘Oh, I’m not fighting.’...I finished my check. It might have been a little late. It was a clean hit. It’s one of those things. He was just lucky he was able to get me down before I got going.” -- Ottawa Sun

That was just a taste, Steve.  Your bill is still owing, and the Good Lord willing, we'll soon be collecting in full.  Well, looky here...October 15th, at The Bank. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sharpen my implacable sword.

*Before you ask, yes.  That's exactly how I approach all of my meetings.

Comments (7)Add Comment
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written by Rob R., September 23, 2009
Here's hoping they call up Yablonski and Carkner for that game, if Carkner doesn't make the team out of camp.

Should be a battle next time around...
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written by CharlesC, September 23, 2009
You are the Dante Alighieri of our generation.

Question: did little Stevey pee himself?
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written by Michael fisher Portnoy III, September 23, 2009
ahhh SLC. Such bitterness. Such unabashed disdain for anyone who has wrong a senator (and by extension YOU) in the past. Such...ooh... pizza.
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written by Oman, September 23, 2009
How's that for 2 mil per annum?! Neil is on the war path this year! Much to prove. Many heads to crush.

Oh ye of downward head and weakened bladder beware the wrath of the Neiler. And may the plates of revenge and general punishment make a mountain of steaming glory!
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written by WRowanH, September 23, 2009
Well, count me in as one of those who thinks Chris Neil effed up on this one. No, much better to remind Steve Downie that while he still plays hockey for a living, he plays for the Tampa Freakin Bay Lightning.
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written by michael figueiredo, October 01, 2009
Sens fans should help point him out to the rest of the team. Whenever Downies in ottawa's arena, the second a fan spots him place so much as 1 foot on the ice he should start chanting, which will cause a chain reaction deathknell chant of "DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNIE. DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNIE."

Just to let Neil, Fisher, Ruutu, Carkner and Volchenkov know that he is on the ice. So they call all get ready to hurt him. See until we hit him hard enough that he is utterly damaged and stays down and leaves and misses many a game, it wont end, we wont leave him alone. It cant just be an ass kicking, it has to be many and a huge hit that hurts him badly. Then we will consider ourselves even. Hitting him hard but not hurting him does count.

Then when Philiadelphia is here change it "BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL".

My money is on the Russian Tank to catch Bell with his head down and throw a vicious cross side shoulder check. Then we can all cheer as he struggles to get up, then falls and stays back down. Then we can boo him when they help him up. Just remember, unlike in Alfredsson's defense, Philadelphia wont be rushing to start fights on Bells behalf.
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written by SLC, October 01, 2009
@michael figueiredo: I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Oh, and remind me never to piss you off. Jebus!

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 22 September 2009 21:16
 

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