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Written by SLC   
Saturday, 05 September 2009 14:31

So I trust we're all finished with the simian shit flinging?  Excellent!  Because as much as I'm going to miss Owen's cooed pillow talk, there's something else going on now, kids.  Can you smell it?  The crispness in the soon-to-be fall air...the hot chocolate and greasy hot dogs from the Lion's Club concessions...the fetid swamp gas of a thousand equipment bags being opened for the first time in months...HOCKEY'S BACK!!  Are your pants as tenty as mine?  They should be.

A few quick hits on the goings on while I was riding out the storm in The Man Cave:

  • A multitude of strapping young men running around SBP in their underwear can only mean one thing.  No, not that thing, this isn't the Gardens.  Rookie camp opens today!  Physicals and first on-ice workouts today, followed by a flight to scenic Kitchener Ontario for the annual four team rookie tournament tomorrow.  If you're in the area, you'd be doing yourself a huge favour by checking it out.  It's a blast.  For most of these kids, this is the best chance they have to make an impression, and it shows.  Dangle an invitation to the main camp in front of them, and every game is a game 7.  You can see the Sens roster at Silver Seven (glove tap, Pete).  One notable absence: Future Destroyer of Leaf Dreams, Jared Cowen will not attend to continue re-habbing the knee.  Pity.  I was looking forward to watching him eat Nazim Kadri.

  • The Captain finally explodes!  Sure, on the surface it may not look like much, but if you've listened to Alfie's public statements over his career, as I have, you know that “That would be the best scenario for everybody (if Heatley was dealt). But if it would have been that easy, then something would have already been done”, when translated from the original Swedish Stoic, is roughly equivalent to "If I ever see that fucking asshat in my dressing room ever again, I'll rip his scrotum off and hang his balls from the rear view mirror of my Saab."  So how's that trade market looking now, Dany?

  • Fare thee well, Gator.  Granted, your tenure here didn't quite go exactly as I had thought it would when you signed, and a small part of me did a little dance over the newly freed-up Cap space, but most of me is just relieved not to have to witness a proven warrior forced to piss away his last year of professional hockey sitting in the press box.  But...um...before you go, any chance you could do us a solid and take Brian Lee under your wing?  Maybe teach him to be...you know...a real NHL defenceman?  Any chance you could do it in the next, say, 28 days?  'Cause that would be awesome.

  • Note to the Ottawa Senators Marketing Monkeys: "Forever Red" is a rather marked improvement over "A Force United".  Just sayin'...
A week until the main camp opens, 10 days to the first pre-season game, 28 to the Opener against the Rangers, finally closing the books on this Summer of Shite.  CAN YOU FEEEEEL IT??
Comments (28)Add Comment
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written by Owen Durkin, September 05, 2009
Aww shucks little fella, thanks for the mention. Mighty neighborly... By the way I can come by and ruffle them there feathers in your pillow for ya again if ya ask, nice-like...

And if shit slinging aint your thing, take your hand out of your ass before you write...

I'll leave you now to your strapping young men in their underwear...










really?
written by Mark Bell, September 05, 2009
"when translated from the original Swedish Stoic, is roughly equivalent to "If I ever see that fucking asshat in my dressing room ever again, I'll rip his scrotum off and hang his balls from the rear view mirror of my Saab." "

Good joke. We all know that Alfie would just attempt to shoot the puck at Heatley during a scrimmage. He doesn't have the gonads to rip someone apart, which further questions his ability to captain a team.

"CAN YOU FEEEEEL IT??"
Yeah. I'm sure most sens fans feel the lack of depth up front and the uncertainty (again) in goal.

Hey alfie, stop admiring your pass.
Re:Mark Bell
written by MO, September 05, 2009
Your a leaf fan and you are criticizing the sens lack of depth up front? You know you have no one up there right? I understand SLC hurt alot of your feeling when he wrote that unnecessary TO piece but you cant shit on the sens for lack of depth up front for the simple reason that the leafs dont even have a legit first liner!!! Am I wrong?!?!? Also uncertainty in goal? You know you still have Toskala right??? And some swede who has never played a game in the NHL?? Shit on their lack of a bonefide puck mover, the Heatley situation or something that makes a tiny bit of sense from your point of view....
Anyway have fun booing Alfredsson for that stick throwing joke or whatever you guys boo him for and keep holding on that Bell memory because it seems to be important to you and god knows Alfredsson has forgot all about it...

To summarize I know SLC kind of invited you hecklers onto his site but a better effort then this would be appreciated.
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written by Owen Durkin, September 05, 2009
@ Mo:
I dont think Alfy-boy remembers much any more after that sound shellacking.

Hey, how's that blueline comin'?
@Owen
written by MO, September 05, 2009
Apparently not. Word is that he cant name more then 2 forwards in your top 6. I dont know if we can hold that against him though.

Blue line is a work in progress. Somewhere between your forwards and your goaltending i guess. Definitely a weak spot and if Karlsson isnt ready for the big squad, and one of Campoli or Lee doesnt step up it wont be good.
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written by Owen Durkin, September 05, 2009
Its not the forwards he needs to concern himself with, its the blueline that will leave him begging for Bell to come back and hit him again that he needs to worry about.
RE Leafs G, Tosk is in a contract year, and he always battles hard when there's competition. Ask Nabokov about that. He's also healthy again. And with that blueline in front of him, he can be just marginally better and that would still be enough to send the Sens packing come post season. Gustavsson is the Goalie Spezza's mom warned him about. Watch his videos on youtube. He's a freak of nature. Hes also got Roy's goalie coach. And no, you can't borrow him.

In closing, I'll take my less talented top line (which is soon to get a hell of a kickstart) and it's win or die trying attitude over a collection of players who would rather sulk, or bitch and demand a trade than work their way off the coach's shit-list every time.





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written by MO, September 06, 2009
Blueline that will have Alfie begging for Bell? Well, I didnt know it occurred, but judging by your post it is obvious that Lucic gave Komi his balls back. I am thrilled for him, his wife and the kids they can now have.

As for Toskala you know we said something regarding competition about Martin Gerber too. Turned out great for us... Anyway borrowing him wont be necessary, we have a shiny new goaltender too along with a decent prospect to back him up.

Anyway I am glad you are content with less talent and the win or die attitude. I didnt know you guys missed the pat quinn era so much!!! Keep holding your breath for that kickstart.
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written by MO, September 06, 2009
Oh! Forgot to mention... you know who else looks great in youtube videos of the euro league. Peter Regin!!! I guess Ottawa/Toronto games boil down to those two this year!!!
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written by Owen Durkin, September 06, 2009
tell pascal to be sure to tape his ankles...he's a little on the delicate side, isn't he?
And I dont think Lucic will be coming to Bozo the clown's aid any time soon. rest assured, Komi can handle anything in a Sens dress...



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written by Owen Durkin, September 06, 2009
re: the kickstart, if you were up on all the news surrounding Ontario's team, you'd have known that Burke will likely be acquiring an RFA in the 3-5 Mill range in fairly short order, based on recent negotiations with CHI to re-acquire our original 2010 2nd, which will be needed to complete the transaction.

Also, several undrafted top prospects are fighting for top 6 jobs. Hanson, Bozak, Stalberg...names you'll come to hate soon enough...Do we have a big name? Not this week. Do we have legitimate depth beyond our top line? You betcha.How 'bout you? like the looks of your team beyond the top line

Let's take a look under the hood, shall we:
-A sulky top line with a serious (figurative) heart condition.
- A pronounced lack of secondary scoring
- A chronically underachieving second line center
- A terminally dilapidated defensive unit
- A china doll in goal. Kindly refer to the following:
http://www.dobberhockey.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2156:leclaire-vs-elliott&catid=31:justin-goldman&Itemid=100

-A prospect who may have to carry the mail behind a disjointed, patchwork D corps...

The perfect blueprint for a house of cards...good luck to you.
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written by MO, September 06, 2009
Oh you mean Burke will pull a complete 180 from the temper tantrum he directed at Lowe and use the taboo offer sheet. I was waiting for you to say that... So basically the plan is to overpay a player, give up 3 draft picks, show the league what a hypocrite your gm is, and hope the player wants to get on board? All this keeping in mind that no other team in the position to do this thought this was a good idea. Good luck with that.

to your diagnosis of the sens:
-I will give it to you but only if you are taking about Heatley and perhaps Kovalev.
-I will take our lack of secondary scoring over toronto`s entire team of tertiary scorers anyday.
-The thing about underachieving is that you have to have talent to do it. Fisher does underachieve but he does have boatloads of that heart you have been drooling over. Maybe if Burke makes the right offer you can aquire him as your first line center.
-The defensive unit last year resembled Torontos offense. Very deep at the bottom of the depth chart with no offensive talent at all. Alas there is hope! The Bryan has made defense his priority and now Ottawa has a plethora of young talented defenseman ready to earn a spot in the lineup over the next couple of years. You will learn to hate them but in a couple of different ways. Some will leave Leafs looking at the back of the net (Karlsson), some will leave them looking up with their back on the ice (Cowen).
-Everyone knows about Leclaire`s injury woes... Given his surgury however I would sooner bet the farm on him and Elliott then Toskala the untradable and captain youtube.

Hanson, Bozak, Stalberg? Every team has their share of those guys...

There might be alot of question marks this year, but our house of cards has a foundation of stone. I wonder if you will be able to say the same after Burkie morgages your future so he can sniff the limelight?
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written by MO, September 06, 2009
Komisarek is half as scary as Volchenkov with the foot speed of Hall Gill. And seriously he has never played the same since Lucic took his virginity, ask any Montreal fan.
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written by Owen Durkin, September 06, 2009
@ Mo:
So, in other words, 50% of your scoring will come from the most undesirable 50 goal scorer in the history of the game, and a Russian cast-off from your other Canadian rival, who really wishes he wasn't there. The other 50 from an aging winger who nobody respects, who's role has become to baby sit a line full of defensive liabilities, primarily a giveaway machine named Jason.How imposing...

Fisher and Bass are the two I hate the least in Ottawa,as they are the closest to Burke style players.But as talented as Fisher may be, he's still a chronic underachiever. If you take solace in the fact that he cant find a way to get it done (a common trait in Ottawa), in spite of himself then feel free to lick your wounds as you like.

Re: Burke's 180, do the research. His contention with Lowe is with overpaying for an unproven player, and the residual effect it would have on the rest of the league going forward, not in the act of acquiring an RFA, who has put up some good numbers. I figured you'd attempt to make this argument, but in truth, it has as much substance as the Sens themselves: Precious little...
Burke will use the picks to upgrade the team with an impact FW, and he'll pay fair market value, as opposed to the way Lowe bit himself in the ass by trying to manipulate the situation with Penner. That must sting almost as much as giving up a Norris winner, I'd imagine...

If every team has their share of Hobey Baker finalists, I humbly suggest Ottawa consider deploying one or six of them at it's earliest convenience...

Given both Leclaire's surgery, and injury history, he's a very talented package, but one which you will all soon inscribe the phrase 'DAMAGED GOODS' upon, and send to the end of the bench. I'd plan on getting used to seeing your 9th rounder between the pipes sooner than later.Coupled with a crippled blueline, and I think it may be fair to say that Ottawa's glory days are over before they really got started.

Who gets fired this time?



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written by Owen Durkin, September 06, 2009
...And for the record, your franchishesh mashtermind, 'The Bryan', as you sycophants like to call him, only acquired the wounded giant with the wonky knee through default, as the object of his desire, one Nazem Kadri was plucked away before he had the chance to drool all over him.
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written by MO, September 06, 2009
Call me a conspiracy theorist but I never thought Murray was interested in Kadri. You see Kadri is soft, and has demonstrated lapses in heart. Not a Murray type of player.

Heatley is undesirable but if he scores 50 goals he will probably match TOs offensive output for the year so people will end up forgiving him. You really are gonna jump on Kovalev for his comments when he was just trying to give his old team some lip service? If you do the research Kovalev has been talking about being excited in Ottawa and hoping Heatley can be retained. As for Spezza while his stock dipped last season his play improved. He was the BEST player at the WHC. As for the Alfredsson hate come on. Not respected? Must be very hard to be the euro rep for the NHLPA then. Dont worry, Alfie comments from TO fans are like water off my back. I would be full of hurt to if my Swede superstar captain left my team for nothing instead of taking numerous paycuts. I understand.

You misunderstand me... I find the fact Fish underachieves very disconcerting. the fact remains however that he has the ability to make the play, one most on your team do not.

Last year Louie Caporusso for the sens was a Hobey Baker finalist. We will develop him but he isnt one of our top concerns. Thank you for your suggestion though!!!

As for Burke, your argument is what we call revisionist history. In reality Burke got blindsided by an offer sheet (not normally done) and threw a giant tantrum. In reality, if you want to make a move via offer sheet generally you have to overpay. Burke`s quote translates to I am ok with offer sheets as long as they arent happening to me.

I also understand TO fans oversensitivity regarding Burke. Burke represents hope to you people, because without him your there is NOTHING to indicate the situation will ever get any better. You have no choice but to put blind faith in Burke. If you want to make a expensive offersheet acquisition you have my blessing.

Damaged goods in my point of view is komisarek (at least until he gets the rape counciling). the sens are aware of Leclaire`s injury, his surgury and his rehab and are confident. Good enough for me thus far... As for Elliott any hockey fan should know it doesnt matter when a goalie was drafted. This guy has potential.

Who gets fired? No one right now, but when the honeymoon ends with Burke that will make for some excellent TV.
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written by Owen Durkin, September 06, 2009
If conspiracy theorist is another way of saying 'in complete denial', then I stand corrected. Murray made it clear he was after Kadri seconds before Burke read him his horoscope. Lapses in heart, you say? I'll reserve judgement, but thanks for your input. If your observations are accurate he sounds exactly like 75% of your roster...explains why your bumbling boss man had him in his sights...but I have my doubts, seeing as Burke drafted him...

Re: Kovalev, pay any foreigner without a contract several million dollars and tell him what to say and you can placate yourselves to your heart's content. Do you expect more out of him in ottawa than what he gave to Montreal? believe it if you want, when ottawa's collision course with yet another early exit is finally realized, Kovalev will likely be a Washington Capital, and 'The Bryan' will have to settle for a draft pick...

Re: scoring, you do realize that even with our lack of a big name we finished 10th in scoring last year, and according to NHL.com, ahead of Ottawa?
So, our no-names, mostly rookies and sophomores, out-produced your top line, as well as your whole team?

That's what happens when all your depth is on one line...sucks to be you...

Re: Fisher, lets compare and contrast with Toronto's 2C:
Fisher: 13 G 19 A 32 PTS
Grabovski: 20 G 28 A 48 PTS (ROOKIE YEAR)
Sorry, what was your contention again?

Re: Sundin, he was an excellent leader, but his presence seemed to stall the rebuild. Once the Sundin era ended, the new era began. We honour his memory as a leaf and his many contributions, but we also know when to call it a day, a cold hard fact you'll need to address as it relates to your own captaincy, sooner than later. And yeah, firing a puck at an opponent after the whistle cost him his respect around the league, whether you in ottawa care to admit it or not. Keep living in your little red bubble...We'll drop in now and then and keep you posted...
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written by Owen Durkin, September 06, 2009
Re: Leclaire,

try not to confuse 'confidence' with 'limited options'...
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written by Rick Baker, September 07, 2009
Kudos to Owen. Truly inspirational.

I find it pretty funny that Ottawa has problems with our top line talent or production considering we scored 33 more goals last year than they did without any 7 million dollar offensive threats. The only thing offensive about Ottawa's forwards is that they get paid that much to do nothing. Adding the dissappearing act Kovalev will only enhance the "I'll-show-up-when-I-feel-like-it" attitude spreading through the dressing room.

The defence corps is one of the most pathetic group I've ever seen. I mean Kuba is the star. How bad is that?? Brain Lee?? Chris (oops, is that my net) Phillips?? Picard?? Hey I have a little respect for the way Volchenkov plays. Every team needs a pillow to throw in front of the puck.

Goaltending?? Seriously Sens fans. How much easier are you gonna make it for us?? Leclaire is a one-year wonder (see Jim Carey, Ray Emery, etc) and Elliot was hanging on by a thread last year, because there was no one else.

Prepare for another long embarrassing season Sens fans. But at least you'll get a good draft pick
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written by WRowanH, September 08, 2009
Losing season for sure, but embarassing?

I have seen embarassing seasons (1992-1996), I've known embarassing seasons (1992-1996), embarassing seasons (1992-1996) were friends of mine. 2009-2010, you're not going to be an embarassing season (1992-1996).
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written by SLC, September 08, 2009
@WRowanH: But will it be a Jack Kennedy?
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written by Carina, September 08, 2009
Owen Durkin lost his security blanket


Just sayin'
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written by Owen Durkin, September 08, 2009
yeah...thats what happened...I lost my security blanket...nice one...and you are a poopy-head.

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written by WRowanH, September 09, 2009
@SLC: I'm glad someone got it. With the quality of the discourse around here lately, I was afraid the reference would be a bit dated.
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written by Owen Durkin, September 09, 2009
No need to make it personal, Rowan. At least MO attempted a debate as opposed to opting for meaningless, one-sentence snipes. I shall leave you and your fearless leader to applaud each other for your collective cleverness. BTW, there's this game we like to play, it's called hockey...either one of you literary scholars fucking heard of it?

Back to the bubble with the pair of you...
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written by SLC, September 09, 2009
There's obviously nothing to keep you here friend, so best just move along. It's a big interweb after all.

I've never had to use my ban hammer before, and I'd hate to have to start now.
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written by Carina, September 09, 2009
@SLC

I really don't know why he's still here.

Anyway, if the Leafs were a good team, then the fans wouldn't feel the need to get all hostile and defensive of them when another team's partisanship attacks them, now would they? As you said in another post, their skin does seem to be getting thinner...

I'm not confident that the Sens will be much better this year (better start off low) but the Leafs certainly won't be either. That's my poopyheaded rationalization in all this.



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written by SLC, September 09, 2009
I'm not confident that the Sens will be much better this year (better start off low)

Come now, Carina. Couple the way they finished the season last year with the addition of a reputed #1 goalie with injury problems, a mercurial enigma who may, or may not, earn his $5M, depending on the night, and the return of a dressing room cancer who will play his ass off at least until the Olympic roster is announced in December, and I ask you. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG???

I think I just wrote my season preview...
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written by Carina, September 09, 2009
lol

I like to keep my expectations low so that at the end of the day, I end up happy

I do this with exam marks, birthday presents, family visits, etc etc

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Last Updated on Saturday, 05 September 2009 16:41
 

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