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Dany Heatley And The Unthinkable: What If He Changes His Mind? E-mail
Written by SLC   
Wednesday, 08 July 2009 21:34

 

I think most of us can say that we've all either heard about or borne gleeful witness to seemingly perfect relationships imploding in spectacular fashion.  Two people, otherwise sane in all respects, fall so mad stupid in love that friends and family begin planning interventions (often requiring a crowbar and the liberal application of axle grease...or as Beloved and I like to call it, "Tuesday night") only to find themselves at each other's throats like caged animals a few years later, their scrupulously maintained and oh-so-sickeningly-cute public facade dissolving under a lethal bombardment of insults, epithets, accusations, superfluous pets and small household appliances.  Lordy, but that's fun to watch, ain't it?

Usually the couple in question eventually agree to exchange restraining orders and get on with the rest of their lives.  But sometimes...

A Senators team with both Alex Kovalev and Dany Heatley in the lineup could be a reality.  Kovalev said he would be willing to talk to Heatley about his request to be traded and try and get the two-time 50-goal scorer to change his mind. -- Ottawa Sun

Um...yeah.  So, this could get a little awkward.

So what say you, Sens Army?  Putting aside the inherent salary cap cock up it would entail, if Kovy is successful, what would it take for you to slaughter the fatted goalie and accept the return of our prodigal son? I'm honestly curious, so sing it to me in the comments.

As for me?  Following the murder of Sir Thomas Beckett, King Henry II paid pennance by donning a hair shirt, and crawling through the streets of London on his knees before flagellating himself before the altar at Westminster Abbey.  I'll settle for the front steps of Centre Block.

Comments (13)Add Comment
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written by whereisian, July 09, 2009
If he publicly fires his agent(s), offers a very profuse, long winded apology, donates a ton of money to CHEO and plays a 2 way game, I'm willing to forgive and forget.

He has to the A off his sweater and present it to either Fisher or Spezza in a stoic ceremony.
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written by SLC, July 09, 2009
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, people! TESTIFY!
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written by MO, July 09, 2009
I would want Heatley to publicly part with the assistant captaincy, provide a heartfelt and sincere apology, and make good to Clouston/Murray and the team.

And of course singe the Ottawa Senators logo into his chest and renounce his NTC in a new contract written in his own blood.

Nothing major...
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written by slightlypeeved, July 09, 2009
i ask that he would pull his head out of his own rear end (though this may require some assitance due to how far up there it seems to be shoved, i'm sure Murray/Clouston would lend a hand if he asked nicely..) and then publicly remove the A from his sweater until he is deemed worthy of wearing it again. and obviously all the while he must apologize profusely.

if i'm still not satisfied after that, i would have him thrown in custom made, NHL approved stocks in front of Scotia Bank Place. he can then pay for the rotten veggies to be thrown out of his 4$ bonus. oh, and reimburse me for my number 15 jersey.
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written by Carina, July 09, 2009
A very very long apology. Press Conference. Answer every question we ask
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written by Anshu, July 09, 2009
Here are my requirements:

Fire his agent (s)
Apologize to the organization privately (including Melnyk, Murray and Clouston)
Apologize to the organization and fans publicly (at a press conference where he answers questions from the media)
Publicly affirm that he will be a team player, abide by the coach's wishes, and earn his salary as every player should
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written by SLC, July 10, 2009
You guys are fucking awesome.
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written by Number31, July 10, 2009
I'm not of Sens Nation but if I could, and if it were possible, I would ship his ass to Binghamton in a rent-a-wreck until he realizes who's behind him waiting for that opportunity to play in the NHL.

Kovy's using Bob's methods of motivating a star. Bob taught him well.
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written by The Left Hemisphere of Einstei, July 10, 2009
He comes back, scores 10 goals in his first 8 games and the Sens are in first place 8 games in...this is all forgotten.

Oh no, this isn't what I'd ask for, this is what would happen.
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written by Chris, July 11, 2009
Absolutely I'd need an apology. Not necessarily saying " I f#@ked up, and thought this was a shit team" since I haven't actually heard him say that, but certainly "My agents are total Asshats and they NEVER should have leaked that I wanted out".
The firing of said agents would look good.
If he came back and busted ass (which, being an olympic year, he would) and produced, I'd be willing to let it drop for the time being. Let Murray get a good deal for him if he still wanted out.

*Note* I got busted at dinner last night drooling over the potential lineups if Heater stayed.
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written by SLC, July 11, 2009
*Note* You too?
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written by WRowanH, July 12, 2009
I'm not sure who made this, but it pretty much sums up my feelings about the whole thing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnE_cBLPYJI
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written by WRowanH, July 12, 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnE_cBLPYJI

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